So according to the all and powerful Julia Allison, today is BFF day.  It might be last minute, but better late than never right?

I met Simone at my second job, at the beginning of my senior year of high school.  We didn’t become friends until probably a year later.  For probably another year after that she continued to call this other bitch, Stacy, her best friend?!  I finally got rid of that ol stick in the mud and we’ve been wifeys ever since.  When I looked back, my first thoughts of Simone was that she was a bitch.  I was totally wrong, she’s a bitch now* and I have no one to blame but myself.

  1. April 13, 2006 - Pine Cove
  2. April 14, 2007 -  20-30 Spring Fling {Our 2nd Annual}
  3. January 19, 2006 - Pine Cove
  4. April 3, 2005 - Macy’s dressing room
  5. August 23, 2005 - Southern California, city unknown
  6. May 21, 2006 - My parents house, our graduation party
  7. April 7, 2007 - Thunder Valley, Teresa’s birthday
  8. April 13, 2006 - Pine Cove {we really liked it there, okay?!}
  9. October 27, 2006 - Halloween Party, Danielle’s house before

I really need to invest in a scanner so that I can share older better pictures.

Things I love about my wifey:

  • She gets me to wear a Halloween costume even when I don’t want to.  Now I love it!
  • We take lover vacations together.
  • She doesn’t mind scrubbing me in the buff to get rid of my sunburned, itchy, peeling back.  If she did mind it, she did it anyways.  Thanks!
  • She doesn’t hug me or express strong sentiments to me unless absolutely necessary.
  • I never have to “short story” it.
  • We’re both a little racist against Russians {you would be too if you’d worked at the pharmacy}.  And we accept this in one another.
  • She used to offer to help me with my homework when I would be near tears. She was never allowed to help again when I found she couldn’t cut a straight line with an exacto knife.
  • We both find it totally appropriate to garden in our underwear and Uggs.
  • She doesn’t know what a princess cut is.  I don’t either.
  • I never loved a song more than I loved Journey, karaoking  ’Don’t Stop Believin’ is a college memory that won’t soon fade.
  • She eats Pillsbury flakey biscuits and Drumstick ice cream cones and calls it a meal.
  • Simone knows pretty much everything I will eat and won’t eat.  This comes in handy at restaurants.
  • I can always ask her what a weird item is on the menu.
  • She watches Rachel Ray on mute.
  • She can make you anything for dinner.  Take those leftovers and make it into something totally new!
  • She judges and sometimes we’re sooo on the same wavelength with it!
  • I forget everything, but she’s like my real life Palm Pilot.
  • We try on Homecoming dresses just for fun.
  • She was in 4H.  Can you say that about your best friend?
  • We used to sneak out of places to avoid saying goodbyes and being made fun of for leaving so early.
  • Simone and I used to nap in our going out clothes before late night parties, then just get up and go.
  • She didn’t take me to the hospital when the cab driver suggested it.
  • She didn’t leave me on a bench even though every time I came conscious I cried for BK.
  • We watch movies in bed, under the covers together.  I get to pick my own sleep number.
  • She doesn’t eat red meat, except for bacon.  Really it’s a sin not to.
  • She taste tests all my baked goods even though she doesn’t really like sweets.

In case you didn’t fully understand she’s pretty much bitchen.

Can I read this in lue of a speech at your wedding?

*You’re only sometimes a bitch, but I love it.

 

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