You know the saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all'?
Well I’ve noticed if the situation calls for no sarcasm at all - say I’m being rudely addressed by the president of the company - then I say nothing at all. I become a guppy, just opening my mouth with no words forming. I can’t think of anything “nice” to say!
Now I’m sure the president of the company thinks I’m special needs or something.