For those of you with a short attention span I will just come right out and say it. In. A. Relationship.
For those of you looking for additional information the story is this… Thanks to the power invested in Facebook I now know that my flirty little crush is a skeez with something on the side. I’m not making any sense. Let me back up.
Back in November, Mailman was out for almost two weeks for a back injury. The day before Thanksgiving was his first day back. I was in such a lust bubble I decided, fuck it and requested someone on Facebook I thought was him. The reason I wasn’t sure was because this profile had EVERY privacy setting and the profile image was of the Rock. As in Dwayne Johnson. Not so sexy, I know, but I figured if the request went through and it wasn’t him I could just delete the weirdo.
Much to my surprise of Thanksgiving morning I received a notification that the request was accepted. I frantically started checking photos. This guy was almost nothing personal on his FB (shady right?) and it took some digging. Finally, I had success in mobile uploads - he has a freaking daughter!! I’m not anti-children by any means, but this girl had boobs! I’m guessing 13 or 14. Holy shit. And to make it better they were at the Kings vs. Lakers game. Something he had told me about, but no mention of any daughter…
It suddenly occurred to me who gives a shit about this… HELLO RELATIONSHIP STATUS. And that’s when I see [ ______ ] is in a relationship. Not even linked to another account for further snooping. Boo!
What makes it all worse is now he knows that I know and nothing has changed. We’ve never talked about our new internet friendship, he still hangs out to chat every day and he continues to flirt! He even gave me a birthday present! I mean it’s one thing to be a flirt and whoever he’s with probably wouldn’t be surprised by that behavior, but if my guy was giving some random a birthday present I’d be PISSED.
So that’s the scoop - love affair over. [Credits roll.]