Filtering by Tag: dear diary

{Let's Get to Work}

A few weeks ago I tried to “keep it real” with all of you and share some of the not so happy and shiny things going on in my life.  My mother and her friend read it and thought I was depressed.  I mean, SERIOUSLY?  Although I imagine it would be hard to tell. I already have ice cream and a bottle of wine for dinner on the regular, it would be difficult to tell when exactly I was drowning my sorrows… I figured it was time for an update on one of those bullet points.  I know some of you have been quite curious about what is going on at work.

For one, it’s still far from stellar, but looking up.  I’m entangled in a tug-o-war right now with my GM.   I’m trying to convince the powers that be about the importance of social media. This is like trying to show your dad how to use predictive text on his flip phone or your grandparents how to use their navigation system.  Phones are for making phone calls, not typing “emails”.  Gramps has a map, that was always good enough, why do I need this? As I’m sure you can imagine it’s somewhat of an uphill battle. {If you have suggestions, feel free to send them my way.}

I’ve never been much of a go-getter at work (much to the disgust of my type-A sister), preferring instead to fly below the radar as much as possible. Following up a conference in Las Vegas, our management team is fired up again about “The Facebook” and “Tweeter”.  They’ve dangled the carrot out in front of my face and I want this new job to be MINE.  I don’t even recognize myself!  Seriously, I’ve been continuing work at home, doing all kinds of research and I even typed up the most pertinent information on letterhead. In the past the only thing I’ve printed at work are recipes and the bi-monthly timecards.

Last Friday, after sitting down with the GM, I was able to hold an information meeting with the five department managers.  I was the only girl and I held my own!  People were asking questions that I was able to answer, I was interjecting and adding my feedback. A normal day in the life for most of you, but it was genuinely thrilling for me. Unfortunately, nothing has been made official yet, but I’m doing my best to hold my ground.  Again, if you could all keep up with the positive juju and send it my way. If I haven’t said it yet, I SO APPRECIATE IT!

{image via}

{Not So Pretty & Shiny}

My sister made a (true) comment the other day about how if there was something not going well in my life it wouldn’t be on the blog because that is only happy and sunny. It definitely got me thinking because it’s true and I’ve know it for a long time, but when someone calls you out it kind of puts you in perspective.

One of the reasons I don’t tend to share the not so great emotions I go through is because the people who read this and know me IRL start IMing me or texting me are you alright? Yeah, yeah… there are way worse things to bitch about, people caring about me… so annoying! {sarcasm} BUT my blog is kind of like a journal. One where hundreds of people can read and give feedback, but if I wanted my IRL friends feedback then I would have asked them in… RL! See the pattern?

Secondly, it is SO hard not to talk about Mr. Goddard on here. He reads this blog from time to time and I’ve heard his coworkers read too. Obviously my whole family reads weekly, if not daily. Things are new, things are confusing and frustrating and it would be so nice to say to all of you blah, blah, blah… and then ask, am I crazy? Am I wrong? His fault, right? ;) For now though, I’m going to try and remain mum. I mean I hear that “normal people” just tell the guy how he makes them feel and doesn’t run it past the interwebs first. Anyone else try that?

I will, however, share some REAL not so pretty things that I’m feeling at the time so here’s me being vulnerable:

  • I lightly touched on it Friday that I’m a little stressed about money. There are several weddings coming up this year and that means money! I held off on filing my taxes because I didn’t trust myself to do the right thing and put the money on my credit card. I’m a terrible money manager. Fact.
  • One thing I have been thinking of splurging my refund on is a gym membership. (Gawd) I have been slowly gaining weight over the last 17 months and I’m really not loving the way I look now. Not really earth shattering, but I feel fat and I don’t want to be the fat bridesmaid come September when I walk down the aisle in my best friend’s wedding!
  • Work has been slow because the economy is slow. I work in car sales and let’s just say, it’s not what it was 5 years ago. It makes the days long and tedious at times.
  • For those of you who haven’t put it together, I’m seeing someone. It’s been over two years since MexEx and even then that relationship was long-distance and going nowhere. Here I am at 28, facing what is the first “healthy” relationship I’ve had in probably 4 or 5 years. For the sake of this post, I’ll admit that I feel crazy insecure 90% of the time. I don’t want to jinx it or f*ck it up and just typing that, I know it sounds completely ridiculous. All in the name of keepin’ it realz! (kidding, I don’t talk like that IRL. This could probably be broken down in to several subcategories!)
  • I’ve been dealing with several friend things in the last couple weeks. Friendships don’t just happen on their own, I told you they take work, but when a couple things hit you at once then it feels a little draining. All I needed was to shed a few tears (a few!) and let time run it’s course.

Five is enough for one post right? Long story short - I am human. I am a silly girl with the same sh*t going on as you. I just prefer to internalize it and freak out silently. Every day. All the time. Totally normal, right?

 

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