So according to the all and powerful Julia Allison, today is BFF day. It might be last minute, but better late than never right?

I met Simone at my second job, at the beginning of my senior year of high school. We didn’t become friends until probably a year later. For probably another year after that she continued to call this other bitch, Stacy, her best friend?! I finally got rid of that ol stick in the mud and we’ve been wifeys ever since. When I looked back, my first thoughts of Simone was that she was a bitch. I was totally wrong, she’s a bitch now* and I have no one to blame but myself.

April 13, 2006 - Pine Cove
April 14, 2007 - 20-30 Spring Fling {Our 2nd Annual}
January 19, 2006 - Pine Cove
April 3, 2005 - Macy’s dressing room
August 23, 2005 - Southern California, city unknown
May 21, 2006 - My parents house, our graduation party
April 7, 2007 - Thunder Valley, Teresa’s birthday
April 13, 2006 - Pine Cove {we really liked it there, okay?!}
October 27, 2006 - Halloween Party, Danielle’s house before

I really need to invest in a scanner so that I can share ~~older~~ better pictures.

Things I love about my wifey:

She gets me to wear a Halloween costume even when I don’t want to. Now I love it!
We take lover vacations together.
She doesn’t mind scrubbing me in the buff to get rid of my sunburned, itchy, peeling back. If she did mind it, she did it anyways. Thanks!
She doesn’t hug me or express strong sentiments to me unless absolutely necessary.
I never have to “short story” it.
We’re both a little racist against Russians {you would be too if you’d worked at the pharmacy}. And we accept this in one another.
She used to offer to help me with my homework when I would be near tears. She was never allowed to help again when I found she couldn’t cut a straight line with an exacto knife.
We both find it totally appropriate to garden in our underwear and Uggs.
She doesn’t know what a princess cut is. I don’t either.
I never loved a song more than I loved Journey, karaoking ’Don’t Stop Believin’ is a college memory that won’t soon fade.
She eats Pillsbury flakey biscuits and Drumstick ice cream cones and calls it a meal.
Simone knows pretty much everything I will eat and won’t eat. This comes in handy at restaurants.
I can always ask her what a weird item is on the menu.
She watches Rachel Ray on mute.
She can make you anything for dinner. Take those leftovers and make it into something totally new!
She judges and ~~sometimes~~ we’re sooo on the same wavelength with it!
I forget everything, but she’s like my real life Palm Pilot.
We try on Homecoming dresses just for fun.
She was in 4H. Can you say that about your best friend?
We used to sneak out of places to avoid saying goodbyes and being made fun of for leaving so early.
Simone and I used to nap in our going out clothes before late night parties, then just get up and go.
She didn’t take me to the hospital when the cab driver suggested it.
She didn’t leave me on a bench even though every time I came conscious I cried for BK.
We watch movies in bed, under the covers together. I get to pick my own sleep number.
She doesn’t eat red meat, except for bacon. Really it’s a sin not to.
She taste tests all my baked goods even though she doesn’t really like sweets.

In case you didn’t fully understand she’s pretty much bitchen.

Can I read this in lue of a speech at your wedding?

*You’re only sometimes a bitch, but I love it.

KyleJune 9, 2009bff, julia allison, simone