NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

The best part about this is that my dad emailed it to me.  Living with 4 women for a good chunk of his life probably taught him a thing or two.  I think I will have all future men refer to this guide first.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.  Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.  That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’.  That will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F—- YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’  For the woman’s response, refer to # 3.